“My life needs editing”–Mort Sahl

“Ocean, n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man — who has no gills.” ― Ambrose Bierce, The Unabridged Devil’s Dictionary

“When you catch an adjective, kill it. No, I don’t mean utterly, but kill most of them–then the rest will be valuable. They weaken when they are close together. They give strength when they are far apart.” –Mark Twain

“Enormous numbers of people are taken in, or at least beguiled and fascinated, by what seems to me to be unbelievable hocum, and relatively few are concerned with or thrilled by the astounding—yet true—facts of science, as put forth in the pages of, say, Scientific American.”–Douglas Hofstadter

A Biden/Warren Ticket

“Reality has a well-known liberal bias.”–Stephen Colbert

“The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.”–George Carlin