No Harm Spilt

Wolf Blitzer:  What do you think of Pope Francis, Mr. Trump? The Pope has been making quite an impression on Americans.

Donald Trump: Pope Francis seems like a nice guy.  I haven’t met him personally, of course, but he has a nice smile. It’s a little leery, but he’s a Wop from Argentina. What do you expect? But I have to say, for a CEO—if the Catholic Church isn’t a big corporation, I don’t know what it is—for a CEO to be riding around in a Fiat, especially in this country, it makes him look like a loser. He needs better advisers. On his wardrobe, for one thing. Okay, I get the tradition, but all white? Even the beanie?  You know, it’s not very masculine. Only men can be Pope—anything that keeps Carly Fiorina out is a good thing—but for God’s sake, dress like a man.

The Pope has to be a Catholic, right? That should be changed. The church needs a bigger pool of candidates, and it needs somebody who can say, “You’re fired!” I’m not saying I would be a better Pope, but I would be a good one, I can tell you that. I wouldn’t dress all in white and ride around in a Fiat. Pope Francis is a Jesuit, and Jesuits are supposed to be smart. I’m very, very smart, and I know what being smart is all about.  It’s about not looking like a loser.

And all this touching little kids and leering at them with that banana smile—not good.  It makes him look like some loser politician begging for votes, and with all the pedophile stuff that’s gone down in the church, he should keep his hands to himself. If he’s going to smile and leer, let him smile and leer at women, even if he doesn’t mean it. He shouldn’t leer at nuns, of course, and he should leer at women who are a little better looking than Carly Fiorina.

The Pope loves immigrants. Let him take some of our illegal alien immigrant Mexicans into the Vatican. He won’t have enough places to hide the nuns, and very soon St. Peter’s will smell like marijuana instead of incense.

I’m not surprised that the Kenyan Socialist Obama has sold Pope Francis from Argentina on the voodoo science of so-called climate change. In that white dress, he sweats like a hunk of rancid pork. No wonder he believes in global warming.

And the Pope should learn to speak English. He sounds like that dog on YouTube talking to the guy about food. It’s an embarrassment.  When I’m President, the Pope will speak English, or he won’t be invited.