Cutting Words

Books/How to get to the point/Volume 1

Revise these sentences to make them less wordy and compare your revisions with mine.

  1. Sylvia very hurriedly scribbled her name, address, and phone number on the back of a greasy napkin.
  2. Susan’s stylish jeans, made of leather, were too warm for our climate.
  3. She got red at my words, which were spoken in a moment of anger.
  4. It was decided by the committee that no non-English speakers would be hired.
  5. It was my intention to make sure that no student would fail the test.
  6. Since the mission statement reflects the organization’s developing vision of the future, it will be amended annually to incorporate those changes in the vision which occur as it matures.
  7. There were two flights of stairs that one had to take to get to the attic.
  8. A decision was made by Volkswagen to recall all defective models.
  9. A majority of the suggestions he made were rejected.
  10. The two official languages should have to be known to some extent by all Canadians.

Possible revisions:

  1. Sylvia scribbled her contact information on a greasy napkin.
  2. Susan’s stylish leather jeans were too warm for our climate.
  3. She blushed at my angry words.
  4. The committee decided that only English speakers would be hired.
  5. I intended to ensure that all students passed the test.
  6. The mission statement will be amended annually as needed.
  7. Two flights of stairs led to the attic.
  8. Volkswagen decided to recall all defective models.
  9. Most of his suggestions were rejected.
  10. All Canadians should have some knowledge of the two official languages.
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