- The polar opposite theory. Incumbent presidents are replaced by their polar opposites. Except for his gender, Trump is definitely the polar opposite of Obama. Obama has big hands.
- The persistence of sexism. The qualities Americans want in a president are incompatible with pantsuits.
- False memory syndrome. Some Americans really do want to make America great again.
- The allure of novelty. The name Clinton is the polar opposite of novel.
- Berlusconi envy. Many Americans think Berlusconi put Italy on the map and that Trump can be their Berlusconi.
- Putin envy. Some Americans believe Obama is constantly apologizing for America, something Putin would never do for Russia, and think Trump can be their Putin.
- Netanyahu envy. Some Americans admire the way Netanyahu deals with the Palestinians and think Trump can be their Netanyahu in dealing with Mexicans, Muslims, and other swarthy people.
- Hair fetishism. An unknown number of Americans find Trump’s hair erotic.
- The Evil Eye. Too many Americans have been saying Trump can’t win.
- God’s will. It may be time for America to start suffering for its sins.
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