Ten Reasons Donald Trump May Well Be the Next President

donald-trumppresident

  1. The polar opposite theory. Incumbent presidents are replaced by their polar opposites. Except for his gender, Trump is definitely the polar opposite of Obama. Obama has big hands.
  2. The persistence of sexism. The qualities Americans want in a president are incompatible with pantsuits.
  3. False memory syndrome. Some Americans really do want to make America great again.
  4. The allure of novelty. The name Clinton is the polar opposite of novel.
  5. Berlusconi envy. Many Americans think Berlusconi put Italy on the map and that Trump can be their Berlusconi.
  6. Putin envy. Some Americans believe Obama is constantly apologizing for America, something Putin would never do for Russia, and think Trump can be their Putin.
  7. Netanyahu envy. Some Americans admire the way Netanyahu deals with the Palestinians and think Trump can be their Netanyahu in dealing with Mexicans, Muslims, and other swarthy people.
  8. Hair fetishism. An unknown number of Americans find Trump’s hair erotic.
  9. The Evil Eye. Too many Americans have been saying Trump can’t win.
  10.  God’s will. It may be time for America to start suffering for its sins.
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