Trump: Questions Are a Distraction

Republican U.S. presidential candidate Donald Trump jokes about how difficult he says it is for him to listen to Democratic candidate Hillary Clinton's voice, as he holds a rally with supporters in Fresno, California, U.S. May 27, 2016.  REUTERS/Jonathan Ernst.

Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump will reportedly wear earplugs during the upcoming presidential debates with Democratic rival Hillary Clinton. “I just find the questions too distracting,” Trump said. “I know what points I want to get across about making America great again, and that’s what people want to hear. Why should some debate moderator like Anderson Cooper, who always treats me very unfairly, decide what I will talk about by asking me questions?”

Asked how he would rebut Hillary Clinton on policy issues if he can’t hear what she’s saying, Trump said getting into an argument with “Crooked Hillary” about policy would just muddy the waters. “People want answers, and I plan to give them answers. We have to be very tough and very smart. Our leaders have been very weak and very dumb. It’s sad, and it’s only going to get worse, and believe me hearing what Clinton has to say won’t solve anything.”

A spokesperson for the Commission on Presidential Debates said the Commission has no problem with Trump wearing earplugs: “Frankly, most presidential candidates give whatever answers they want to give no matter what the questions are anyway.”

An official of the League of Women Voters, which used to sponsor the debates, thinks Trump wearing earplugs is perfect for the symbolic value. “In Hillary Clinton we have the first woman nominated for President by a major party. What could be more fitting than her male opponent wearing earplugs? It will highlight the problem of men never listening to women, but more importantly, it will keep Mr. Trump from doing that infuriating male thing of constantly interrupting her.”

A columnist and Fox commentator who prefers to remain anonymous believes the earplugs are part of Trump campaign manager Kellyanne Conway’s strategy to keep Trump from going off message. “If Trump can’t hear Clinton, she can’t get under his skin and make him lash out and call her a whore or something, something the Trump campaign has been trying to keep Trump from doing in an attempt to make him seem presidential.”

The Clinton campaign has hired a body language expert to coach Clinton on contemptuous body stances and denigrating scowls. “Trump will have to look at her from time to time, and it will drive him nuts wondering what she’s saying when she crouches or scowls,” said a Clinton campaign worker. “After all, she could be saying something about his tiny hands. We’ll have him pulling those earplugs out in no time, so he can defend himself. We can play these little games too.”

Whether Trump will have the discipline to keep the earplugs in and stay on message or will take them out and go ballistic is the big political question cable news commentators and experts will themselves be debating as the first Presidential debate draws closer. One CNN political analyst thinks Trump will either succumb and take earplugs out or maybe stay firm and keep them in. A Fox News anchor believes that Trump has been wearing earplugs all along and has never actually heard any of the questions interviewers have been asking. It has been alleged that cable news networks have been dubbing in questions to more or less fit Trump’s answers.

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