No Harm Spilt

Donald Trump claims the microphone in the first presidential debate was rigged. On Fox News, Trump said that Clinton operatives in the liberal media had sabotaged his microphone so that no matter what he said, only stupid things came out.

“It’s very unfair,” Trump said. “I could have had Clinton on the ropes with devastating questions about her record, her emails, and her figure—I’m telling you, that woman loves to eat—but all anybody heard were things like stuff I said a long time ago about Rosie O’Donnell, who also loves to eat, by the way. A voice that was cleverly programmed to sound like mine was coming through the mike, and there was sniffling too. I never sniffle. So now all the post-debate spin is how I don’t respect women because of something I supposedly said about that cow Rosie O’Donnell and maybe snort coke. And nobody respects women more than I do. I respect women big league.”

It’s an open question whether Trump will agree to participate in the next two debates. Trump campaign manager Kellyanne Conway said that if Trump does agree to do the next debates, he will bring his own microphone.