Trump Insists that His Penis is Bigger than Obama’s (or anybody else’s)

Image result for trump's penis cartoon

In his first press conference, President Trump’s press secretary Sean Spicer made a statement attacking the media for delegitimizing President Trump’s penis size and took no questions. Among other things, Spicer said:

“Photographs of the inaugural proceedings were intentionally framed in a way, in one particular tweet, to minimize the size of President Trump’s penis as indicated by the bulge in his pants clearly visible on the National Mall.  This was the first time in our nation’s history that floor coverings have been used to protect the grass on the Mall.  That had the effect of drawing people’s gaze away from the president’s crotch, while in years past the grass eliminated this visual problem.  This was also the first time that fencing and magnetometers went as far back on the Mall, preventing hundreds of thousands of people from being able to access the Mall as quickly as they had in inaugurations past.

Inaccurate numbers involving penis size were also tweeted.  No one had numbers, because the National Park Service, which controls the National Mall, does not put any out.  By the way, this applies to any attempts to try to measure anybody’s penis.”

Trump Spokesperson Kellyanne Conway continued to attack the media over Trump’s penis size on Meet the Press with Chuck Todd:

KELLYANNE CONWAY: –look, I actually don’t think that– maybe this is me as a pollster, Chuck. And you know data well. I don’t think you can prove those numbers on penis size one way or the other. There’s no way to really quantify penises. We all know that. You can laugh at me all you want. But I’m very glad–

 

CHUCK TODD: I’m not laughing. It’s just that all you need is a tape measure or a ruler.

 

KELLYANNE CONWAY: –look, Chuck, I’m–

 

CHUCK TODD: –befuddled.

 

KELLYANNE CONWAY: –well, but you are. And I think it’s actually symbolic of the way we’re treated by the press. The way that you just laughed at me is actually symbolic of the way– very representative of the way we’re treated by the press. I’ll just ignore it. I’m bigger than that. I’m a kind and gracious person. But let me tell you something else, I’m really glad that NBC News and Chuck Todd all of a sudden are so thrilled to cover penis size because we were mocked daily for talking about the significance of Trump’s enormous penis at our historic rallies–

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