Ten Hopeful Predictions for 2016

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Ten Hopeful Predictions for 2016

  1. Donald Trump will handily win the Republican nomination but will resign before the election saying it was all a joke.
  2. Woody Allen and Sarah Silverman will convince all Israeli settlers in the West Bank to evacuate their settlements in order to make room for a Palestinian state.
  3. The Canadian Looney will become the strongest currency in the world for no apparent reason.
  4. Republicans will embrace a scientific worldview and advocate strong measures to reverse global warming.
  5. Canada and Canadian affairs will be become the primary focus of American cable news.
  6. Richard Dawkins will convert to Islam and lead an Islamic reform movement.
  7. Pope Francis will issue a general absolution covering all humanity and pets except for cats.
  8. Deepak Chopra and Dr. Oz will issue a joint statement renouncing quackery and apologizing to all the gullible people they have duped.
  9. Justin Trudeau will show signs of aging.
  10. World leaders will promise to consult Fareed Zakaria before doing anything.
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