Ten Hopeful Predictions for 2016
- Donald Trump will handily win the Republican nomination but will resign before the election saying it was all a joke.
- Woody Allen and Sarah Silverman will convince all Israeli settlers in the West Bank to evacuate their settlements in order to make room for a Palestinian state.
- The Canadian Looney will become the strongest currency in the world for no apparent reason.
- Republicans will embrace a scientific worldview and advocate strong measures to reverse global warming.
- Canada and Canadian affairs will be become the primary focus of American cable news.
- Richard Dawkins will convert to Islam and lead an Islamic reform movement.
- Pope Francis will issue a general absolution covering all humanity and pets except for cats.
- Deepak Chopra and Dr. Oz will issue a joint statement renouncing quackery and apologizing to all the gullible people they have duped.
- Justin Trudeau will show signs of aging.
- World leaders will promise to consult Fareed Zakaria before doing anything.