Melania to the Defense

Image result for melania trump cartoon

After watching Anderson Cooper interview Melania Trump on CNN, we know one thing for sure: Donald Trump didn’t marry Melania for her brains. But then, she’s a trophy wife, and trophy wives aren’t usually given IQ tests.

In her defense of Trump’s “I grab them by the pussy” comments, Melania suggested that her poor husband had been lured into “boy talk.” She said she has a young boy (actually two—She considers her 70-year-old husband essentially a boy),  and she knows how young boys talk:

“Barron. You stop talking about grabbing women by the pussy at the dinner table!”

Okay, English is not Melania’s first language. Maybe she didn’t realize that Trump was bragging about what amounted to sexual assault. Maybe she thinks it’s all about mistreating pussycats by pulling their tails.

Melania said her husband is a gentleman, which is sort of like claiming Pat Boone is Chinese. Even a weak grasp of English couldn’t explain that.

To be entirely fair, Melania is standing by Trump for the same reason his political surrogates show up on TV and shamefacedly defend the indefensible: money.

No beautiful super model would be attracted to man who looks suspiciously like the offspring of the coupling of his mother with an orangutan and has all the charm of serial rapist unless there was lots of money in the offing. As Trump himself might say, when you’re a celebrity with a bundle of cash, you can grab them by the pussy or you can even marry them. Let’s hope, though, he can’t make one First lady.

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