The beleaguered Trump campaign has come up with a Hail Mary pass strategy to win over suburban women who have been put off by his claiming that the women who have accused him of groping and assaulting them aren’t attractive enough for him to have bothered.
“Donald Trump didn’t find those women attractive enough to assault,” said Kellyanne Conway, Trump’s campaign manager, “because he is gay.”
The campaign believes the gay defense will not only put the sexual assault charges to bed but will also appeal to suburban women who generally find gay men more engaging and better conversationalists than their husbands.
Trump’s being gay will also make his praise of Vladimir Putin less politically risky. The campaign will start having Trump appear with pictures of a shirtless Putin.
At this point Trump’s being gay won’t alienate his loyal base who will insist that he means “gay” in the original sense of “happy.” Only degenerate elites use gay to mean homosexual.
Gays themselves will be horrified, and the LGBT community won’t buy it, but they weren’t voting for Trump anyway.