Trump: Five Reasons for Optimism

Image result for donald trump having a heart attack

   1. Trump’s age and terrible physical and mental condition:

Donald Trump is 70 and clearly not in good physical or mental shape. Can he last another four years without either dying of cardiac arrest or going completely off the rails and getting committed? With any luck, he can’t.

  1. Steve Bannon’s terrible physical condition:

Trump’s chief strategist, Steve Bannon, the right-wing bully boy of Breitbart News fame, aside from looking as though he has really bad body odor is surely a walking heart attack or stroke. Can Bannon be long for this world? Again, with any luck…

  1. Mike Pence’s little secret:

Mike Pence, the VP who will take over if Trump croaks or is otherwise removed from office, is almost certainly a repressed gay. The trauma of having been personally addressed by the cast of the Broadway hit “Hamilton” might trigger some sort of crisis that will make Pence come out of the closet. That would fix Republicans secretly hoping to impeach Trump in order to get President Pence.

  1. Trump’s short shelf life:

Trump is so repulsive on every level that even if he does manage to stay alive and out of a padded cell, he will never get a second term. Voting for Trump a second time would be like watching “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” twice. Nobody does that.

  1. Oblivion:

Even if Trump survives and wins a second term, Steve Bannon hangs on and manages to remake America into a white nationalist haven, and Mike Pence stays in the closet, you can always reach for stoicism and take solace in Marcus Aurelius’ dictum: “In a little while you will have forgotten everything;  in a little while everything will have forgotten you.”

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